Thursday 12 Dec 2019
Susan Long â€“ Maggie's
When someone dies, even if the death was expected, you're likely to feel upset and emotional.
The last thing you may feel like is organising what happens afterwards. However, after a death, there are a number of practical matters to manage.
Find out more from ²Ñ²¹²µ²µ¾±±ðâ€™s about what to do when someone has died, including useful links to information and support.
After a death, there are a number of practical matters to manage. It can be a busy time, finding relevant documents, telling people and registering the death. There will also be a funeral to plan.
You may be closely involved with carrying out the personâ€™s wishes, the Will, their personal effects and the family home. This is all going on whilst you, your family and friends are grieving, and can feel emotionally and physically exhausting.
There is help and support available when someone has died â€“ lots of organisations give detailed information on their websites, and the people you need to contact are usually very supportive.
When the person you care about dies, no matter how expected it is, youâ€™re likely to feel sad and upset. You may feel numb, and things may feel surreal.
Whether itâ€™s at home, in a hospital, hospice or nursing home â€“ you and your family may want to spend some time sitting quietly, and gathering your thoughts.
If the death occurs at home, then you will need to let the doctor or nursing teams know â€“ so that they can come and confirm the person has died.
You will then be able to contact the funeral director. They will understand what youâ€™re going through, and will make sure everything is handled sensitively. They will arrange to take the body to the funeral home. You will be able to see the body afterwards, in the days up to the funeral if you wish.
If the death happens in hospital or hospice, you will be cared for. The staff should give you information about what to do next, and when and where to collect the death certificate. You will need this to register the death.
You may have a good idea of what the person who has died would have planned, or need some additional help and guidance from those close to you.
Funeral directors can be supportive and help guide you through the process. Their role is to help organise all aspects of the funeral for you, and make the process as stress free as possible.
You may find that the person who has died, has had a pre paid funeral plan, or had funeral insurance. It is worth checking through the personâ€™s paperwork to check if this is the case.
If you are concerned about how you will pay for the funeral, you may be entitled to help paying funeral costs. There is further information about (GOV.UK).
If the person who has died has made a will, it makes life much easier for the surviving family member, or whoever has been selected as â€˜Executorâ€™. The executor will need a copy of the will to help sort out many aspects of settling the personâ€™s affairs and estate.
If someone has died without a will it can take longer to sort things out. It is known as â€˜dying intestateâ€™. (The process is explained in the useful links below.)
Wills and sorting out the estate can sometimes cause tensions within the family. It's a stressful time, and emotions are high. Open communication with each other, and being prepared to mediate in case of difficulties or misunderstandings can ease potential problems.
You may have a personâ€™s personal effects to sort through, and possible clearing the house, and /or selling any property. This can be painful task. It can help if others among your family and friends can give you practical assistance. It is not something you need to do immediately, unless the accommodation has to be cleared quickly.
After the death of someone you care about, your emotions may be very mixed. You may be heartbroken, yet sometimes have a sense of relief that the person is no longer unwell or in pain. Whilst all of us may face bereavement at some point in our lives, each loss is unique to each individual.
Be kind to yourself. Seek support - you may not even know how support can help, but having people around you who care, and will listen, is invaluable. Find out more in our section on bereavement support.
If you would like to talk to anyone about how you feel, or how youâ€™re coping practically and financially, drop into your local ²Ñ²¹²µ²µ¾±±ðâ€™s centre. You'll find out about the support and advice we provide. You can also read our links and blogs for further information.
Last review: Apr 2022 | Next review: Sep 2023
To find your nearest Maggie's centre, enter your postcode or town below.
Stay up to date with our news and fundraising by signing up for our newsletter.Sign up